Jeff: So-uh, what's it like to die? Do you see a white light?Īchmed: If you're dumb enough to watch the explosion. At first I thought it was because I went over my minutes.Īchmed: It's ok I took that Verizon bas***d with me. Jeff: So achmed, what exactly happened to you?Īchmed: Well, I was getting gasoline and I answered my cellphone.Īchmed: Can you hear me now. I set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in 4 seconds!Īchmed: You know what that's like right? Mr.Hurrrriiccaanne. I am a horrible suicide bomber!Īchmed: I had a preimature detonation. Jeff: yea, so-uh what exactly happened to you?Īchmed: Oh, if you must know. Jeff: You know like, "We are looking for a few good men.Īchmed: Were looking for some idiots with no future.Īchmed: The suicide Hotline. Jeff: So you guys have any kind of motto? Jeff: And what did you guys learn from that? Jeff: So look, as a suicide bomber have you had training?Īchmed: Of course, we had the suicide bomber training camp.Īchmed: New guy. Jeff: Well you can't tell jokes like that.Īchmed: Oh I'm dead what do I care? What do you want me to do. haha yes-yes, and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson.Īchmed: Why not? I'm killing so to speak. No! I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death! ahahahhahaha! Yes-yes! I did the same thing with 2 Catholic Priests then I tossed in a small boy! ahahahahaha. Jeff: What I mean is I don't want racist jokes in my act.Īchmed: Oh-ok, how 'bout if I kill the Jews?Īchmed: I'm kidding, I would not kill the Jews. 2 Jews walk in a bar.Īchmed: What, you don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bast**d. I-I told another Jokech! I can do this crap to'ch.Īchmed: Ok, here's another one. How have you been getting through security at the airports?Īchmed: Oh that's easy, they open the case and I go "ello! I am Lindsay Lohan!" haha. Jeff: heh, look if you've been in my suitcase all this time. Jeff: Al'right so listen Achmed, so where did you come from?Īchmed: Your freaking suitcase. Jeff: Well did they say it would only be, female, virgins?Īchmed: Wait.
Are you my virgins? I hope not.Īchmed: There's a bunch of ugly-a*s guys out there.Īchmed: If this is paradise. I have something to tell you.Īchmed: Wait. I need some ligaments.Īchmed: He scares the CRAP out of me! Please don't put me back in the sinned suitcase.Īchmed: Sudan's Mustard gas is nothing compared to a Walter fart.Īchmed: I-It's not funny. Jeff: Al'right just hold on we'll fix this.Īchmed: OK wait what are you doing. What are you doing to me! STOP TOUCHING ME! I Kill YOU! What tha h*ll? What are you doin? Ok Stop it. SILENCE! I kill you! What the h*ll happened to my feet? Son of a b*tch? What the h*ll? Oh wait a minute. I would suppose you have some sort of specialty.Īchmed: It's a flesh wound. Oh Oh, I I mean uh, Ala Dammit.Īchmed: No you said Ukned, it's Achmed huchhuch huch huch huch huch.Īchmed: Oh-uh.
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